Where my art is at?

I thought I was a child art prodigy. I thought I could sell my amazing art to the neighbors. I think that I also told them that someday I would be rich and famous and that water color would be worth millions. A few of them were kind enough to buy them for a quarter. I heard that if you sold your work you were a professional. I think I told people I was a professional artist for awhile after that.

      I have been missing my art lately. I majored in it for awhile in College...3 credits shy on graduation day. I sometimes walk down my stairs seeing all the art I made a long time ago and wish I still had 6 hours a week dedicated just to art. I am a doodler...but lately I have given that up as well.

Today I worked on an art project with a few little girls and thought I needed to carry around paper and a pencil and just find time to draw. Wednesday I walked through a art store with a friend and we looked at the faces and pieces hanging on the wall. I had much to say about some of them, and again the itch to pick up a paintbrush was present. Hmmm...maybe I need to make more time to work with another medium than fabric. I sometimes get tired of Sewing, and feel my creative outlet is more of a chore. Perhaps I should spice things up and make a goal to work so many hours a week on something other than cloth. Not that I am looking to become a famous artist that I once thought I would grow up to become, but because I love it so. I love to get lost in the creative brain making something that is new and interesting to me.

I think I better steer clear of some of the themes I chose in College. Not that there are any pieces I would fear to show, just at times I tried to be like unto the other Artsy people in my classes and try to use symbolism of things in my life. I am bemused at some of the Lithos I chose to create...and in mass. Funny how a broken heart or two can be a sappy reminder of long ago. The other day I told one of those college heartaches that he had been a theme in my art. Of course he was curious. I told him that maybe someday I would show him some of those pieces. I know that most people would never look past the ink to what I was saying...but I think he would. I don't know if I am ready to laugh at myself enough to let him see them. When I look at them even by myself I shake my head and roll my eyes at the girl I had been...trying to embrace the artsy frame of mind and make deep and tragic/meaningful (at least to me) art that others couldn't get. I also think I would be better at figuring out the composition now. Some of my college work is flat and unexciting. I really should get back into it…maybe make more things that are just for fun :)

The Blessings of Service.

I have been terrible about making it to church on time since we switched buildings. I need to be better about that. This morning I was writing in my journal and lost track of time. My clock suddenly said I had 15 min to get to church. My first thought was I could just go to another ward, who would really miss me that much. My next one was very uncharacteristic…what if I just didn’t go today. I almost laughed at that thought and jumped up and zoomed around the house getting ready! I found something to eat, and had a feeling to take some blank paper, and an old Journal that I used to take notes in at church. I had been meaning to put that journal in my church bag for awhile, and didn’t really know where it was. But I found it on the shelf above my bed, and shoved it in with everything else. I am a journal writer…I have about 30 something of them. I have been writing notes, thoughts and impressions and personal revelation down on little scraps of paper/ward bulletins for the past year. I thought it funny that on the Sunday I had 15 min to get ready I had to stop and pick up that journal. But I did, and ran out the door. I got to church just in time to hear the opening prayer in the foyer, then I grabbed a program and a hug from the cute greeters and sat down next to a random family in the ward. I don’t have a set pew, or normal place to sit since the new building…so I joke that I am getting a chance to bless and meet new people each week as I randomly sit with people. This week was the family of one of the Bishopric members. She looked at me a bit funny, I didn’t know why…probably cause I was late, maybe cause I hadn’t ever sat with them before.


I listened as the new Members were read into the ward, releases and sustaining taken care of, and a baby blessing. Just as we are opening up our Hymnals for the Sacrament Hymn I thought to myself how odd it is that there is only one speaker sitting on the stand. Then Suddenly I have this memory flood back of a phone call I got this week (when I was busy at work) asking me if I had ever had the opportunity to speak in church. I silently prayed that it was for next week as I hurriedly opened my program. There in black and white was my name, and I was the first speaker. I looked over at this sister I was sitting by and said whoops I forgot I was speaking today…now understanding the odd look she had given me earlier. With shaking hands I reached down and grabbed my scriptures, a pen, my little hymn book, and that journal. My topic was the Blessings of Service. I wrote about 10 words on the program, opened the journal and quickly scanned the pages. I found some notes I had taken from a Relief Society General Conference Oct 2008. Sister Julie B. Beck had given us council on the 3 fold mission of the church. I underlined some of my notes, and opened my scriptures to where I had been reading this week in Alma. Alma 17 was about the sons of Mosiah and Alma meeting up together and rejoicing that they were still men of God. Then it talks of Ammon and his service to the Laminites. The sacrament song ended and I closed my books and turned my thoughts to the sacrament. I said a big prayer and apologized for forgetting, and being a bit of a slacker. I begged God to help me to speak, and know the things that I should say, even though I didn’t have time to prepare as I should have. I was still shaking, and very nervous as we partook of the sacrament. And then as the conductor stood to announce the program I tried to smile my bravest, most encouraging smile. He looked over at me as he said we would be honored to first hear from…and he paused hoping/praying that I really would be speaking. I nodded my head and with relief in his eyes he said my name, and then the rest of the lineup.

I walked up to the podium and I put down my hymnal, my journal and my scriptures and tried to joke about how it was never good to be late to church, but esp. when you were supposed to be sitting on the stand. No one laughed, or even smiled. Deep breath, another quick prayer and I opened my mouth unsure of what I was going to say. I started with Sister Becks talk. As I read from it I had stories and ideas and thoughts come flooding into my mind. There were some that were nice, but others that pressed upon me, and it was clear which were right to share.

I talked of my parents and their desire to serve a mission. I told of my mom wanting to serve a mission and the Bishop not thinking that this was a place for girls. He didn’t want her to serve. So she worried about what to do. She wanted to serve. A bit later a new Bishop was called and in an interview asked if she had ever thought about going on a mission. They quickly were able to get her ready to go and serve the Lord and His Children. I told how my folks often shared mission stories with us as we grew up. They looked for opportunities to teach and help us understand the Gospel on a daily basis.

I talked of my mission, and getting to serve. It was interesting the things that I mentioned in my talk…how I was wanting to go to Africa, or some untamed place. I was big and strong, and not afraid to eat bugs, and willing to work hard. Yet the Lord called me to Philadelphia Pennsylvania. I was sad, but soon came to realize that this was the most perfect place for me to serve. I got to serve the nations of the World in my native tongue…which was good because I’m not good with languages. I told them of how my mission President tried to impress upon us that our mission was a MTC for the rest of our lives. It was a Missionary Training Center for us to draw strength from as we went on to serve in the Church, our communities, our neighbors and perfect strangers for the rest of our lives.

I talked of not knowing many people when I first moved into the Home ward. I had a sure fire way of meeting people and becoming involved in a ward. You introduce yourself to the Bishop and the Relief Society President and tell them you are new, and that you need a calling. You are able to meet many people and feel at home as you have opportunities to serve others. I mentioned how I had no one really to sit by in sacrament meeting when I first started going to this ward. I felt a bit lost and alone. I prayed that I would have an opportunity to serve some little family with wiggly kids that could use another adult to sit with them. That Sunday the Moranos move into the ward. Every one kinda chuckled. I explained that this was perfect. Here was a new family that didn’t know anyone, with three Autistic boys that needed a little bit of help. Later Sister Morano told me that she had prayed that someone would be able to come and help with the boys who had a hard time being quiet. I said that I knew that the Lord worked in mysterious ways, but he listens and answers our prayers.

I talked of my mother helping a little old lady in the grocery store who couldn’t pay for her groceries and the clerk was being rude…mom said she would pay the difference. The woman was flustered and apologetic and didn’t want to take it, and my mother said something that I have always remembered. She said “You would do the same for me.” The older woman looked at my mom with tears in her eyes and thanked her and said she was right she would have done the same for her. My mom saved the day, served another, and put her heart at ease.

I talked of my opportunity to serve in the Singles ward, and how I was very adamant about leaving once I turned 31…not wanting to be the old lady hanging out with the 18 year olds forever. But I had a blessing that said that just because I had a birthday didn’t mean I got to be released from my calling. I talked of getting back in and serving hard, and learning to let others serve me.

I talked about Ammon and how his story was one of my favorites when I was young because he cut off all the arms and was good with a slingshot. But as I have grown older I have new things that I love about Ammon. I love that he went into a dangerous place to serve, and that he was optimistic and cheerful. When all the servants of the king were afraid and tearful, Ammon went to the rescue. He saw this as an optimistic opportunity to serve these people and bless them with his service. I bore my testimony and I Challenged the members to look for opportunities to serve. That if they would pray for opportunities that they would be able to see the many things that they could do for all those around us. That they would be able to find blessings, realize that our own trials aren’t as bad, and be able to let others return that service when we were in times of need.

I ended my talk and we sang a rest hymn, and then the next speaker got up to speak, and his talk was wonderful, and fit so well with my talk. The Spirit was so strong, and that is the quietest I have ever heard our ward. Even the children were listening and sitting still. No one was sleeping, and many people shook their heads in agreement to the things we talked of. I was so grateful that I had been blessed to know what to say. I have never relied more on the Spirit to direct my talk than I did today. Not that I am going to ever, ever, ever do this again. But I was able to feel so strongly of the things that needed to be said, and when to bear my testimony on things.

All though the rest of Church I had ward members stop, shake my hand and thank me for that talk. Several mentioned that they were struggling with something and that they had prayed to be able to know what they needed to do, and I was able to say just what they needed. I know that it was not all me, and am so grateful for the blessings of the Holy Ghost.  I am glad for the opportunity I have had to speak in front of others, and grateful I can think quick on my feet, and that my Improv skills kicked in. But I know that it was because I prayed and asked for help, and for a miracle. That is the real reason I was able to know what to say for 28 min. When you only have 2 speakers you get a lot of time on your talk. In fact, we went a bit over today in sacrament meeting…and everyone was ever so reverent- and weren’t impatiently looking at the clock. They were looking steadfast to us, and the things that we believed. What a powerful and beautiful opportunity…in contrast to how terrible it could/should have been. I am grateful for the Gospel, and I Know that God Lives and loves us. I know that we have been given much, and we need to serve, and pray and labor to help others come find the happiness and joy of the message of the Plan of Salvation. I am grateful for a Savoir, Jesus Christ who has Atoned for the sins of all mankind. I am grateful to know that not only my sins can be washed away by his sacrifice, but that my broken hearts can be bound up, and healed, and that I can find forgiveness, love and hope. I have come to understand more about the Atonement, and Christ’s deep love for us as I have seen the sorrows and worries and heartaches and burdens lifted off my shoulders, and the shoulders of those around me. I am glad that when I am broken that I can be made whole. In a fireside talk a few months ago the word perfect was discussed.  In Hebrew “Perfect” means whole hearted.  This made so much sense to me! I desire to always have my heart made whole so that I can take care of not only myself, but others. I am very grateful for service given and received.

Temple In Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Today in Primary (I am sort of a sub that helps out the classes that have too many kids, or jumps in to help when someone can't make it) we had a "Temple Feature" that made me think. Each week we talk about a different temple. The kids are given clues about a Temple and then they get to guess which one it is. One of today's clues was that it had a church building in it and it was built very tall to fit in a big city. The answer was the Hong Kong Temple, but it made me wonder about the new one that they are building in my mission (Philadelphia Pennsylvania.) There are only 2 temples currently that are in a high-rise fashion. I wondered if Philly would be that way too.

I was just on the East Coast last fall and got to go to the Temple in NY City. It was beautiful. I walked in and as the doors closed I found myself unable to hear the noise and traffic of  Broadway. The feelings inside were so calm and peaceful. Something I hadn't seen at all anywhere in New York. It was also nice to be able to attend the Relief Society Broadcast/Women's Conference in the church part of the building. There are separate stairs and elevators for the Church and for the Temple.

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While I was out that direction I had a fun opportunity to travel down to Philly. It was the 1st time I've been back since my mission 10 years ago. Phiadelphia has changed so much. It felt so much cleaner, and safer. I was amazed. They even cleaned up the streets by where I used to live, I almost couldn't recognize them. While we were there I wanted to go see the spot where the new Temple was going to be placed. I even took pictures. I was so excited that this city and the people I loved were going to get a Temple of their very own.

Standing there looking at an empty lot I remembered a goal I made as was getting ready to serve my mission. I was going to work so hard that some day they would have to build a Temple there. When I got to the mission several missionaries laughed and said that goal was impossible. That they would never build a Temple in Philly.  But I grew up in Las Vegas and heard that same sentiment "never would they build a temple here." I was 12 when a Temple was in fact built in Las Vegas. I was so excited that I was old enough to go to the Las Vegas Nevada Temple's open house and see God's Holy Temple.

I worked hard on my mission. I learned to love the people, hoped and prayed that someday a Temple would be built so that they might be able to have the many blessings that it would bring. In October 2008 General Conference they announced that the Church was going to build a Temple in my mission! I cried for joy! My heart was humbled, and my excitement grew. My beautiful mission was getting a Temple of their very own!!! I was teary and couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. I prayed several times thanking my Heavenly Father for allowing this miracle to happen in my life time. Several friends from my mission called, texted, e-mailed and facebooked me about the good news. Several of us stated how much we wanted to be there to see the Open House and Temple Dedication.

Empty Lot that isn't getting a Temple

Tonight I looked on line to find any info I could about how the Temple was coming, and see if it would be like the Hong Kong and Manhattan Temples. I will have to figure out how to copy the link to this blog. (I am still new to blogging.) http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/philadelphia/ It will in fact be a high-rise Temple. But the Temple is not going to be where I thought it was...But it is close. So I guess I can delete my photo of a random parking lot ;)

I love the Temple so very much. I am grateful to live so close to one right now. I was thinking about all the places I have ever lived (I have moved a lot) and realized that I have never lived farther than 2 hours from a Temple. What a blessing that hs been for me. Now I live close enough to jog by one, and have 7 with in 2 hours of me, and another being built in Payson. I am grateful for the peace the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings. I am grateful for the Holy Temples where I can go and learn, meditate, pray and make sacred covenants. I am grateful for the many commandments and directions I have been given in a world of craziness and unbelief. I think that there are many out there who do not know where to turn for peace, answers to life's hard questions, for comfort, for understanding, and for happiness. I would say to those who do not know where to turn to visit the Temple. There are missionaries there who would love to answer any questions. There is a calm and beautiful feeling even on the Temple Grounds. If you stop and listen, if you pray for truth, if you are a true and earnest seeker of truth you will be able to find these things and so much more at, and in the Temple of God.

Nauvoo IL

Las Vegas, NV

The Nauvoo IL Temple is my favorite, and second is the Las Vegas NV...but I bet that might change once I have an oppertunity to see the Temple they are building in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.

Prop 8- powered by both sides with love...yet so much hurt.

Unable to sleep I have been turning out current problems with Proposition 8 over and over in my mind. I think that a lot of pain, hurt misunderstanding and unfairness have touched about everyone that has gotten involved on either side. As far as I can see it, it boils down to semantics. What is the meaning of the word Marriage? I also can see that there is a huge division by the anti and the pro. I say that both sides are fueled with love, and that is the problem…for the opposition to each party is seen to be fueled by hate. Are their feelings of hate on both sides? There are those with in each party that perhaps feel that way, but I honestly think that the two basic stands are driven for the most part by love.
Anti Proposition 8 is viewing this as a civil rights issue. Their love of freedom and liberty and the pursuit of happiness speaks to their heart of letting all be able to have everything the same. Many supporters of this side of the coin feel that they and only they are being fair, loving, kind and rational. They view that the word marriage should be attainable for all. But in the state of California very little is changed for Gay couples if they have or don’t have this word and certificate. The rights to be admitted to see their sweetheart in the hospital still stands, tax and benefit laws are intact. And possibly I am too open minded here, but I would even say that they become each other’s family. Families come in all different shapes and sizes, and mean different things to different people. Michael Scott from “The Office” would consider all his coworkers his family. I consider my roommates and some of my close, close friends as family. Some people do not have love or happy thoughts of family because they knew great pain from theirs- often times because it was dysfunctional or a source of much animosity. Others take family for granted. But most feel that families are very important, wonderful and who they love the most.
Pro Proposition 8 views this issue as a religious issue. Their love of God, and desire to maintain that of traditional marriage which they define as being man and wife is what speaks to their heart. Many supporters of this side of the coin feel that they and only they are being fair, loving, kind and rational. They view marriage as something sacred, and for most as a binding of a man and woman before God first, and then to man. There are many heterosexual couples throughout the world who find marriage stifling, archaic and many who do not want to enter into this covenant for different reasons…yet they still have love and commitment to their life partner. Are their marriages that are messed up, broken, vows discarded- but still legal because of law only? You bet there are! Are their people who marry for the wrong reasons? Absolutely. Is marriage between man and woman always beautiful, spiritual, filled with fidelity, trust, compassion, and consideration for each other? No. Having the word and the certificate does not bring happiness or entitle one to “Happily Ever After.” Are all families created under marriage happy homes? Negative. But those who are making a stand on this point are filled with love for their understanding of what marriage is.
So what is the solution? I do not claim to have all the answers. I do not think that we can wave a magic wand and make everyone happy, or cause people to agree on what Marriage means for them. But I hoped to point out that though this debate, vote, fight, ideal, view, and argument that both sides are fueled by love and their concept of the word “Marriage.” Neither side is trying to truly stand for hate! There are exceptions, but as a whole I feel that both sides are trying to listen to their heart, and conscience. But some see this a civil rights and others as religion/tradition. There is a huge difference to both sides and points that the other won’t concede. Our nation is circling each other in a giant boxing ring, going head to head in a fight that is not for fame and fortune but for love. I am afraid that both boxers have been hit in the head too many times to see things clearly, rationally or calmly. Yesterday as I read 517 comments back and forth on a news article I was appalled at how many people were name calling, hitting low blows and getting so nasty with each other that love did not seem to be anyone’s fuel. It felt more like school children fighting and bickering. One person on there made reference to someone’s mom.
To those that are of a religious background may I say shame on you for not practicing what you teach, if God is Love why are you hating? To those that do not carry religious ties may I say shame on you for not holding to the golden rule- do unto others as you would have others do to you. I would challenge each person responsible for allowing hate to creep into their heart, conversation or stance to take a deep breath, count to ten, act like an adult and try and view the opposition’s point as being backed by love…not hate. Maybe then we can learn and accept and respect each other even if we disagree on what a word and a certificate means.

Anonymous no more

Everytime I want to comment or do things I am limited...why? Because I was too lazy to set things up with Google. But I am fixing that and creating a blog...hmmm- I thought I was doing well when I had both facebook and myspace. I am sure I will get addicted to this as well.