Monday, August 23, 2010

Oh yeah, remember how I have a blog?

A friend of mine almost went a year without posting something new on his Blog. Since he had at one time been a mighty blogger he felt this was something to fix...and wrote something with only hours to spare. I am afraid I have not been a mighty blogger...and haven't checked others that I follow for months at a time. Having some cute Nieces and now a Nephew has helped. But my blogging is still weak. Funny, since I love to write and I am always writing something in my journal.

Hmmm...maybe I need to sit down with Chelsea and look at all the fun things that you can do to liven up ones blog. Mine is rather boring!!! My youngest brother just joined the blogosphere and probably has more posts than I currently do. Most of the comments left on my blog are on how I need to update. So for those of you that are helping to push me into the world of being a real blogger here we go.

Lets see...what am I up to. Good place to start. I finished a movie not so long ago that really tried my patience and sanity. I am afraid that there were several times that my quick wit, my sarcasm and my tired self chose to not be as nice as I could have been. The director and I had several long brutal talks about things...When I couldn't help him understand the serious problems with continuity that I was trying to fix my tongue got the better of me. At one point he asked if all my sarcasm and jokes were helpful. I thought about that for 5 seconds and realized yes...Yes it helped. I was mad and upset and angry and tired and felt like I was hitting my head against a brick wall. The sarcasm helped me from maiming him with the plethora of sharp sewing objects with in my grasp. It helped me to laugh, and kept me from completely loosing it. This said...I hate night shoots. Something about driving home as the sun rises makes life worse...especially on a super stressful show. But in retrospect I should have bit my tongue more and worked on my patience and kindness. (Though having one of the actresses write down word for word al of my funny pithy quips did feed my ego a bit.)

A long time friend of mine got to spend some long hours helping me on that show. I was a bit puzzled to later hear that this person that I had thought knew me so well viewed me as a very negative person. It seems that I am critical, and mean, and chose to see only the bad in all. Sigh. After 15 years of friendship, and being very open about everything with this friend (who I thought knew my heart of hearts) they let my true character boil down to 10 sleep deprived days as my defining true me. Granted there were a few other things that were discussed in this conversation about my negativity...but I was shocked to see that this was the defining moment for my friend.

My feelings were bruised, and I came home, and asked my roommates if this was true. I have always considered myself cheerful, optimistic, yet realistic, kind, helpful and the champion of the underdog. How many millions of battles have I waged for underdogs, how many teams have I cheered when it looked too hopeless to try, how many prayers for others had I prayed that they might be happy and have peace, how many times after a loooong day on set am I still kind and make life fun for the extras, and how oft do I sing random musicals to myself as I work? I have a few nick-names that seem pretty cheerful…Sunshine, Sonichka (Russian for Sunshine), Smiley, Sunny, Super Smile. Well my very blunt, “tell ya like it really is” roommates were also a bit puzzled that I had been labeled “negative.” Teasing they now call me "the negative one." Granted I do not believe in rose colored glass with which to change my perceptions of the world. I do however believe very much in the "Plan of Happiness," and hold to the thought that if you’re not happy you’re doing something wrong. Even through hard trials and worrisome times we can still have peace, and comfort, and yes even joy in our hearts and homes.

I’m off that show and on to another. There are the usual stresses, changes, mix-ups, and dramas in this show...but not nearly the crazy train the last one was. I am grateful to be working on a film with a real crew and real ADs. It is also fun to see a bunch of film friends I've missed, and make some new ones. I am always so intrigued about what the extras think about their 1st day on a movie set. This week has been full of adventure, and fun. Today my Uncle Mathew came and worked on the show, and two of my roommates (Natasha and Kara) came to visit and were soon roped into helping. WE needed extras and before they could escape we had them in wardrobe. They got to wear pioneer dresses in a rainstorm created by special effects. Afterwards one of the actors couldn't find his t-shirt and walked around shirtless looking for it. My roommates thought I was joking about how nothing surprises me anymore, and that I have seen it all. I do still appreciate modesty, but I hardly notice when an actor does something like that. I guess I am a bit desensitized.

Hmmmm…dating. Well there have been a few people of interest that have flicked in and out of my life lately. I know several people that think that I am being overly picky. Let it be known that I am not looking for perfection...but I am looking for someone who is working towards it like I am. I have found many good friends, some boyfriends, and have been close to engaged a few times in life, but things haven't really worked out for various reasons. Sometime it is just not right. Sometimes one person falls in love and the other doesn’t. Sometimes though you care very much for someone your find that you do not bring out their best self, and it is too hard to be unequally yoked. Not so long ago I had to tell more than one person that it was ok, that I knew I was a mover and a shaker, that I didn’t want to slide by in life, and that it was chaffing them to be in a serious relationship with me. I have things to do, people to see, battles to fight, people to care for, soapboxes to stand on, and I believe in fixing things…not many can keep up with me I guess, and I would eventually chaff at being held back. It is a good thing that I like me...and don't hate being by myself. I am a big fan of getting to truly know and love yourself. Honestly wherever you go you have to take yourself with you. I joke that until I find someone that makes me happier than I am now there is no use in getting married. I want to find someone that I am equally yoked with, that I love and loves me back. Really is that being too picky?

Much to my Grandfather's fretting I am ok with being an old maid right now. I am grateful for the many opportunities that I have been afforded in life. Of course I thought I would have been married a long time ago, and started that big old family I have always wanted. But that hasn't been an option really yet. I have had opportunities to serve a mission, finish college, work in a field that I love and have talents/skills in. I have been able to move, and meet lots of people, and travel. Some of those things will have to change when I do settle down, but I will be excited for those new adventures that will come with that oppertunity. I am not one to sit, wait, and vegg while hoping life will come to me. There is just too much to do :) Live without regrets, love life, and seek to learn and be better.

I am currently helping in the primary…kind of a helper and sub. I was officially called to be the ward “Primary fire-putter-outer.” I love it…getting to teach different classes, learn all the songs, and sometimes coming up with a lesson on the spot. Today I got to teach the 9-10 year olds. We were discussing Rehobaum and peer pressure. It was such a great lesson. There were a lot of kids and I worried that they might not pay attention as much as they should. But the Spirit was strong, and as we discussed receiving counsel, and how we should counsel with the Lord in all our doings they were very focused and attentive. I was reminded of a few other scripture stories where kings did or didn’t serve the people, or how if we don’t counsel with the Lord we find ourselves in serious trouble. There were a few things that really seemed to hit home, and it was interesting to me to see the different things that clicked in the kid’s minds. I talked a bit about Solomon and recapped last week’s lesson, and explained that all of us could seek to be wise in order to help and serve others. We talked a bit about spiritual gifts, and how IF we sincerely ask the Lord he can help us develop them. That class was so great. Later we acted out “getting the brass plates” for the rest of Primary. It was fun to direct something again :)
I am taking Improv Classes. I started to study Acting in College, and wanted to maybe go into Opera or Musical Theatre. UNLV sure wanted me in all 3 of those departments…but I moved to a very small Theatre Program in Idaho. I didn’t like how some classes were run, and bounced around till I found my nitch…Wardrobe and Hair and Make-up. I am afraid acting went on the back burner. Two years ago I worked on a film with a bunch of Comedy Sportz Improv guys. They laughed at my jokes…something that rarely happens…so few people could tell when I was joking. Then I went to one of their improv shows, and became a CSz Junkie. About 8 months later I signed up for their beginner’s classes. One of my friends had really been pressuring me to try it. He told me that a professor had told him that he was less of an Actor, and more of a Performer. That made sense to him. Honestly I was very nervous my 1st class, but soon I felt like a fish taking to water. I decided I am also more of a Performer. There is something wonderful about getting on stage without a single line or blocking and creating something new, fun, and sometimes terrible. Fail big…and you still will make the audience laugh. They care the most when you truly invest in it…even if it is a flop. This class has helped me to think faster on my feet, use more of my creative brain, and more people can get my humor…though I am still often the only one laughing at my jokes…unless there is an Engineer around. (They enjoy a good bad pun and some sarcasm.) I still say that one of my secret super hero powers is that I can always find an Engineer in the crowd. My other power would be static electricity…it finds me, and others are shocked ;)

No comments: